Trinity has been gone one month today and just as I think I’ve accepted the shock, it hits me again. So does going over my actions that day that were so off.
Trinity is the lone exception dying alone, and completely unexpectedly as my other furbabies were either old, sick or had something wrong. I mean I guess she had something wrong with her heart or brain but just 5 days after a good-to-go annual checkup we feel pretty blindsided. As a pet gets older you know it is coming. If they are sick or have a disease you’re treating them for, if this had been back 3 years ago when she had the 3 seizures then we wouldn’t have been as shocked. Skeamer lived to be just over 17, my sweet Trinity didn’t make it to 11 and Tyler will have his first birthday without his sister this month.
Tyler just meeps over and over for me to pick him up which I can’t with my dang shoulder pain but he is enjoying all the extra cuddle time. He doesn’t get why I freak out when his paw lands on my collarbone and he has to lay in a different spot if he wants my good arm to pet him. He has played a few times which is nice, but then he’ll mourn her again. He was going under the covers daily on our bed and he has only done that one time in the last month which is probably a good thing because I don’t get how he breathes when he does that. He is way more jumpy and scared of sounds – even more than he was before.
I have so many photos of them entwined together head to head. Tyler has more dreams that look like nightmares than any other cat I’ve seen. Nothing new on that front but it just seems to bother me even more now. I’m trying to not to let my thoughts wander to what if he dies suddenly too. I’m pretty sure that’d just be way to much for me to handle.
I think most people don’t get it, and think I need to be distracted from my feelings. Not sleeping is not helping anything but the pain and only being able to lay on my back is not helping. I’m just tired, sad and frustrated.
I have been going over all the photos trying to work on a metal memorial silhouette stand for her but it’s hard. I wanted one of her signature “princess pose” with her tail over her front feet and her head to the side, but that may not be the best one for a silhouette. After I choose one, then I’ll start trying to find someone to make them. I want to get the same kind of life-size silhouette for her and Tyler as I did for Skeamer, and I want to find some sort of low white flowering evergreen ground cover to go over her grave site. At some point, I’ll do a photo book but there are just so many photos I love. Pouring over them I know we gave her a great life and she was loved but I still get stuck on the image of her in death, dying alone even if she did look very peaceful laying the exact way she laid all her life.
Hoping all of you had a blessed and happy Easter. It was almost hot here in western NC.
Today at 2 1/2 weeks post surgery I’m wishing I hadn’t done it. It hurts at least 3x more than before the surgery and I feel like the pain is back the same as it was on day 7 post, before the horrible PT pain on day 8 & 9. I thought I was ready after dealing with the pain for a year, but I can’t get my arm up for things I could do before surgery like to help wash my hair much less even think about using it for photography or hiking. It’s still making popping sounds too.
I am taking 8-12 200 mg ibuprofen each day just to help dull the pain. I’m wondering if they make some sort of pain patches that’d be easier on my liver or kidneys if I just put them on the 2 worst areas. I have another text into the EmergeOrth / Dr. Brooks and will be doing an update post soon with tips I’ve figured out and updating the shopping list.
Seems like lots of people I know have had some type of shoulder surgery. I don’t know anyone that has had the exact 5 things (rotator cuff fraying tear, labral tear, impingement, bone spurs, distal clavicle resection) done that I did but I’m curious….
If you had shoulder surgery what you had done and when you started movement and passive physical therapy, then active PT with resistance bands?
I’m also curious if at 2 1/2 week post surgery if you were still in way more pain than before surgery?