When Christmas doesn’t feel all merry & bright

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This year my smile seems a little more forced and I’m actually ready to just to go bed. We’ve had losses before, actually, several years close together, we lost family and it all comes more to the surface at Christmas. I still cry about losing Trinity. I know what you’re probably thinking. She was “just” a cat and it’s been 9 months and I should move on. Her death was such a shock and I just don’t feel “merry.” Or, that is not what Christmas is really about. I should celebrate Jesus and be grateful for salvation and the gift of eternity, and the time I have and had with my family. I guess you can’t fully appreciate the mountain tops if there are no valleys.

Of course, I have happy moments and plenty to be grateful and thankful for! I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and still have my mom and Tyler. Tyler was extra playful this morning – starting at 4:44 am. I have wonderful aunts and uncles and friends, but my mind is like a record that keeps jumping back to finding her, the shock, sadness and some regrets. My shoulder problems this year have worn on me, making me feel older than I should feel still in my forties.

So this Christmas, only the nativity set went up, no tree, no cards sent out. I’ll concentrate more on the true meaning of Christmas. We are blessed. I am grateful for my our friends, family, all my family two and four-legged.

 

I am so touched when I go to the mailbox and we have a Christmas card or two, especially those with the letters. I feel blessed to have been thought of. I am grateful we can freely worship, and I’m so thankful for God sending His Son – the greatest gift ever.

This Christmas for me, “merry” is just not the right word. So for anyone else that this Christmas has a sadness to it and you have to try extra hard,

I’d like to wish you all a blessed Christmas.

Most Christians are probably in Luke this time of year but this year Eclliesites 3 is on my heart.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

1 thought on “When Christmas doesn’t feel all merry & bright

  1. Kate Crimmins

    I lost my cat on New Year’s Eve day. Sucked the joy out of everything. I came home and threw the poinsettia in the trash. It was a surprise. She was very sick and I missed the early signs although truthfully nothing could have been done except to make her life easier. “Just a cat” isn’t in my vocabulary!

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