a year has passed

We’ve had loss before, actually several years close together we lost family. I still cry about losing Trinity. I know what you’re probably thinking. She was “just” a cat and it’s been a whole year since her death.

Trinity sm

Of course, I have happy moments and plenty to be grateful and thankful for. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband. I still have my mom and Tyler, wonderful aunts and uncles and friends, but my mind is just kind of come back to the shock, sadness and some regrets.

I do think more about the inevitable deaths to come. I wish I had more time with them ALL who have passed. It occurred to me that I had my dad for 32 years, my favorite Grandma for 31 years, our dog Dudley for 21 years, my father in law and mother in law both for 19, our first cat Skeamer for 17, and Trinity for just 10.  I’ve thought a lot lately about the friends that have passed, Sissy, and Randy and it makes me even more grateful for the time spent with the souls I love.

I received the postcard from the vet that it was time for Tyler’s annual. I needed to get passed this anniversary, but I know that first visit back is not going to pass without tears as I remember Trinity’s last visit five days before her death, February 2018. Where both her and Tyler got a clean bill of health. It was in March or April that my cousin/vet was in and heard the level 2 heart murmur on Tyler.

Mr. Tarheel Tyler Maxwell

Tyler seems to be doing okay emotionally now, he is just more talkative than he used to be.  I do think he could use a dental, plus he still goes through waves of sneezing despite my extra vacuuming, water set on the registers, and lysine. He also continues to have the most bad dreams out of our three cats. It will be harder to let them put him under for the cleaning than it used to be. The prescribed Benedryl did stop it but it really made him sleepy. I posted recently about Tyler’s nerves getting him. He’s been doing it for as long as I remember, all the way back to when he was young. I’ve told the vet about it but no vet has ever seemed that concerned. Then again, I’ve never been able to video it and only hubby and I have seen it.

I read online it could be tumors in the brain or spine, it could feline diabetes (never had an issue on blood sugar in tests), it could be a seizure (but they look nothing like Trinity’s three) or the most likely, feline hyperesthesia. They used the description “like they’re stung”, which would make more sense to someone who has never had a nerve stab them or sciatica pain shoot from your hip down your leg, like the description I’ve been using.

making treats smallerStress, allergies, spinal, brain, whatever the reason… the solution is to alleviate stress, check for food allergies and or be put on phenobarbital. That is what Trinity was on for a while and I didn’t like how she was so zombied out. I went back and got Tyler his older food, the one with more peas that I quit feeding after reading about the correlation between peas and heart issues in dogs. I am now looking into CBD oil for Tyler. I do think it helped my shoulder and kept me from taking so much ibuprofen. For some reason, I doubt my vet(s) would prescribe it but I like not using the side effects with a barbiturate and even though Tyler does look like his nerves get him more than they used to, it is not all the time and it looks to be short-lived. It is nothing that I want him on something strong for. The CBD would probably help with age-related joint pains too, as he’ll be turning 12 in April. I already give chondroitin glucosamine by opening a capsule or by treats. I know have to cut Tyler’s treats in half, just like I had to do for Trinity.

So two days apart this week held the loss of my dad 16 years ago, and the anniversary of Trinity’s death. I just pray that our pets go to Heaven. I know our family that believes and accepts Jesus does, but I don’t have that same definitive information on our loved pets.

I tried several times to take a cloud and sun photo with God beams (crepuscular rays) for this weeks 9of52 shot in my #2019project52 but the sky just wasn’t cooperating. Maybe I can capture one today, because the one I have for this week now, is kinda sad, and I prefer a hopeful, trying to see the positives capture.

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1 thought on “a year has passed

  1. Kate Crimmins

    I am so sorry for your loss. A year isn’t all that long. My Jake passed 3-1/2 years ago. He was quite the character and the only boy cat I ever had. I still miss him and talk about him often. I lost Hazel in December. She passed an annual with flying colors and a month later she was dead from congestive heart failure and a massive abdominal tumor. How could that happen? I know their lives (and mine) were better with us together but the sadness of their loss is still there.

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